meladoodle: *doctor delivers baby* yes that’ll be $8 for shipping and handling
tr3ndyc00l: apparently my school made the senior dinner great gatsby themed because what better theme for a graduation party than the inaccessibility of the american dream
buttlid: wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours
escapistaz: If we’re friends, there’s a 106% chance that I’m always petrified that you secretly hate me.
dirkkat: i like how some people on tumblr tell you nothing about their personal lives and remain a total enigma even after months of following them and then some other people on tumblr practically liveblog their farts
g0ne-blotto: since gay people call themselves flaming homosexuals can pansexual people call themselves frying pansexuals because not only is it like flaming homosexuals but we also have the benefit of a play on words
Every main character ever
Character: Do not do this thing.
Main Character: Okay. Excuse me while i do the thing.
doingtimeasacapsicle: teapayne: I think a great idea for reality tv is to take 15 random teens from around the world that are addicted to the computer, and put them in an amish village until they have a mental breakdown calm down hitler, this isn’t the hunger games
croutoncat: i wanna die but maybe something cool will happen so ill stay alive for now
jcatgrl: freedom of speech means that the government is not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up. it doesn’t mean that i am not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up.
[[MORE]]It might be terrible but lately (so like the past year) I’ve felt like everyone I know is so close and I’m just kind of here and so everyone’s getting all sad about going to college and not seeing each other and growing apart and I’m here already feeling apart and excited to get away form these people because being around them has started to make me feel like shit...
handsome-squidward: gameandwatch: natsugay: For all of you that believe that vulgarity in music is only from contemporary times then just remember that mozart wrote a song called lick my ass Proof for those of us that are unaware I’m crying listen to it
at-boundary-conditions: what if humans have cheat codes like if you jump 14 times and then punch + kick ok awesome now i can walk on water and do calculus
cosmicnarwhals: my favorite musical genre is anime openings